- Sharyn Warren, LCSW

What Can I Expect from our Initial Consultation Meeting?

Adults

I would like to first commend you for your courage in phoning my office. I am aware that it isn't always easy to ask for help.  During the initial phone contact to schedule an appointment, either my office manager or myself will give you instructions on downloading the appropriate packet of forms and bringing them (filled out) to my office at our initial session. At that time, you and I will talk about any questions you might care to ask about my background or practice;  then we can talk about the issues which brought you to therapy.  My goal is to help you to get a sense of how I work, and for you to see if you are comfortable with my style and our plan to address your therapeutic needs.  At that time, you may make a decision to schedule a follow-up appointment;  or call my office back at a later time to let me know what you have decided about followup plans.

Parents

Our busy lives don't always allow us to get the support we need from relatives and friends about child rearing, stress management or emotional and developmental issues concerning our children.  Scheduling an initial appointment regarding your child's needs or family concerns helps you gain support and guidance about your role as parent.  Additionally, I can help when you need direction about emotional or behavioral concerns that you may have about your child.

• The first meeting is always just with the parents when we are talking about children and pre-teens. The reverse is true for teenagers:  I prefer that the initial session with a teen be split between meeting with the teen first, and then either with parents and teen;  or just the parents for the last half of the initial session.  During that first parent meeting, I show parents the playroom and let them explore.  I answer any questions about direct and indirect methods of working in play therapy, and Sandplay in particular.  As a result, when I meet the child at the next session, I can say to the child that "your parents have checked me out and made sure I was a safe person to meet".  I explain to parents that I never take pictures of the child for any reason;  although I ask the child's permission to take pictures of their work in the sand or completed dollhouse or action figure play for the child's record.  At the end of the initial parent session, we have explored the explanation to the child about why the family is coming to my office, so that we are all on "the same page" about what the child will be told about meeting me.

• If the parents are comfortable, we schedule a second consultation with the parents and child together. Sometimes we schedule a full family session with all or most of the family members present.  I tell my child and teen clients that I understand they are often in my office "under duress" (e.g., one child with a sense of humor asked why he was "dragged" to my office.  His beleaguered mother replied that suspension for pretending to "shoot" a classmate with his finger broke the "no tolerance rule" at his school).  I find that some children and teens are unable to respond when I ask why they were brought to the session. I then turn to the parents or guardians and ask them to explain the reason the family is in my office.  However, it is equally true that children may beautifully articulate the reasons they have come to therapy without parental prompting.  I explain the rules of privacy about the therapeutic session, and ask parents to share what they want for their son or daughter.  I ask the child to contribute to that conversation as well.  Then I explain that the child can determine whether or not his or her parents are present for the rest of that session;  and suggest that the child begin to explore the playroom or sit in the family consultation room, if they choose.  At the end of the consultation session, I explain that I don't "take prisoners" and that the child and parents get to decide together about whether the family and/or child comes back to see me.  Then a decision is made at that time;  or during a followup phone call to my office.  I try to keep this a low-key process;  where comfort and client safety is respected.

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